SO Jayha jynxed me.
She called me earlier this week and demanded to know what I had done dangerous.
NOthing, I replied. Cuz as abnormal as it is, I hadn't done anything, at that point I hadn't even had to really cuss any customers or coworkers out.
So I am being extra cautious and as laura is coming for a visit I even asked my mom to put us on the prayer list so we don't get in any trouble.
Then today, after a episode of anger at work yesterday that brought about me standing on a counter to give a redneck contractor what for and why to a rousing applause and the church going schooling I had to give a co worker..., I am feeling the evil chi slip upon me. I refuse to do any lifting, fetching or potentially dangerous work..., But alas my soft side gets me..., I had to drive a martcart (you know the motorized wheelchair things) back to the bay..., on the way back I cut behind the service desk so I can stop in the office and plead to come home early..., BUT NO..., an elderly coworker is in the way, so I attempt to sidestep him as I am moving quickly and bumping him would probably break him in half.....
WHAT DO I GET FOR BEING CONSIDERATE....
FACE PLANTED..., THATS FRUCKING WHAT
Someone stackes the rubber matts we stand on on top of each other (probably to try get more cushioning) and I trip over the mf'ing things..., I had my hands in my hoody pocket so I CAN'T catch myself and....,
DOWN I GO like a felled frucking christmas tree
TIMBERRRRRRRRRRRRRR BOMB...
dust flies up like the cloud of a volcanoe errupting after aeons of silence...
MY GLASSES FLY OVER THE COUNTER AND ONTO A PUMPKIN IN THE DISPLAY AND I SLAM MY ELBOW INTO THE FILING CABINET.
TOO pissed to move and mad at the univers I lie there.
Then I start laughing cuz fruck it, I aint dead..., and being me I am surprised I haven't busted before..., and I am sure my boss is replaying the video (the service desk is alway under survaliance) as I type..., AND THIS IS THE LUCK I HAVE.
Well my boss and his daughter and the book keeper rush to pick me up...., really concerned that I am shaking and they cant see my hands
When they realize I am laughing they are even more confused.
I said, DON'T you people know the clutz rule, if you fall you must make people think your really hurt so they wont laugh...
NO one BLINKS..., until the bosses daughter decides that my hair is awry and offers to fix it for me.
Apparently I growled at her and made her jump back three feet.
I am sore..., knees skinned elbow aching, thank GOD, I landed on the matts and not the concrete floor.
The only good thing was that I didn't crush my cigerettes in my hoodie pocket...., cuz I needed a smoke after that.
GOD I LOVE MY LIFE...
Here's the topper..., Later that day..., How come I get out to my truck and I dropped my purse and kicked it up under my truck....., YES, I had to get down on my bruised knees and tummy and go under the truck to get it..... To be CONTINUED....
No comments:
Post a Comment